mission work

I've been reading some updates on my friend Laura's blog about mission work. I used to be very pumped up about being a part of local mission work and in the past few years I've kind of lost my desire. I know that now that I'm a mom, I often think that I don't have time to go out and volunteer. I'm not sure what to think about myself, sometimes I feel lazy about not helping others who are "under resourced" and sometimes I remember the times I've tried to help other people out but it just didn't work out. I think I'm burnt out on people who have "rejected" my help and it makes me not want to reach out, but I'm more likely to wait for someone to reach out to me asking for help. I also think sometimes that just being available for the people in my life (family, friends, church and work) is enough to keep me busy. I also know that I'm a people/relationship oriented person so going to volunteer for two hours isn't going to make me feel like I'm helping out the community unless I can get to know a person and feel connected personally. But is it about me and how I feel? Or should it be about the outcome? As a christian, I often wonder if it's God's role to put opportunities in my life or is it my role to go looking? I will be honest, I haven't really prayed about it so I know I have to start there, but I think I'd share my thoughts and get some feedback.