jogging again

Watch out Sarah Craft : ) I've started jogging again. I went a few days ago for about 10 minutes, then twenty minutes yesterday and then 2 miles today. I'm pretty slow still but I need to get my body back in the swing of things before I can push myself too hard. Today after I got done, I stopped at home and picked up Wendell and we jogged a mile today (Wendell pace). This was his first "run" at home so it was interesting. He was pretty good for the most part but had to make a few stops; like to pick up a leaf, sit on the bus stop bench, and push the crosswalk button. Wendell's first "competitive" run was in July when he ran in the JuniorBix when he ran with a bunch of other kids in Davenport. So anyways, here is a picture of us after our run today.



And here is our precious little one month old. She's officially over a month old and doing pretty good. We think she's close to 10 lbs now and just keeps growing. She's getting close to outgrowing her new born clothes but 0-3 month is a little big. For the most part she is sleeping pretty good at night. Although I did boot her to the crib in her bedroom that is upstairs because she was making so much noise at night time that she was keeping me awake. The funniest noise was when Phil thought he heard a sheep the other night, sure enough Harlie was baaaing like a sheep, but she also neighs as well (neh, eh, eh, eh). She also grunts and wiggles which also causes noise. She holds her head up really good and squirms and kicks a lot. Today she slept most of the day so I think she's going through a growth spurt. On a not so fun note, she seems to have a rash on her face that comes and goes but it doesn't seem to bother her. We think it's a heat rash but are not sure.. I'm hoping to remember to call the doctor tomorrow. We also think she got a fungus on her butt (which could be from me having to take an antibiotic when she was born) because she had a case of diaper rash that wouldn't go away. Unfortunately, it takes a week for it to heal and then two more weeks of treatment before it's completely taken care of. Oh and one last not so cute thing, she's going bald on top, as you can kind of see in the picture. She's loosing her hair on top but has it all on the back and sides.. just like an old man.



I would say we are settling into our new life pretty good. Wendell, Harlie and I have been getting out a lot so that makes our day go better. We did stay home today and didn't play outside much since it was so windy and Wendell did really good. He helped me vacuum, do dishes, and cook supper. We all got to take a nap today (at the same time) so that was really nice. And I let Wendell watch a movie. So a fun day at home for us.. a rare treat for me.

That's all for now. And if any of you know Sarah, then you know she runs a lot faster than I do so it really should say "watch out Heather" cause you're getting lapped again : )

Self Talk, Soul Talk

Just wanted to post about a Bible study that I just started with another group of women at church. The basis of the book is about our self talk which goes deep into our soul. After our first meeting today, I have two thoughts that I want to share in regards to self talk.

1. If I wouldn't say it to someone else then I shouldn't say it to myself.
2. I can either control my thoughts or they can control me.

One of the "assignments" is to go through the week and note some of my reoccurring thoughts; then ask if it's encouraging? discouraging? neutral? God driven? Satan driven? constructive? destructive?

I can already give you an example of one reoccurring thought I have and that is before I pray I often give myself a guilt trip that I should either be praying more often or just "talking to God" more often (especially when struggling as a mom or wife) and then most of my prayer is negative and I get the guilties. Today when I prayed, I made myself ignore that thought and made myself focus on who/what I wanted to pray for (yeah, the whole point of my prayer). I must say, it was much more enjoyable and I felt more connected to God as my friend than always feeling guilty/not good enough. So, here is an example of where I chose to control my thoughts and it was a much more positive outcome.

fussy pants

our daughter has become a fussy pants.. we are on day 3 of fussiness and everyday something different seems to be the solution. but we/i don't figure it out until after i have a headache or am exhausted.

today, she got swaddled and it seemed to be the trick so at least she's sleeping for now.

on a good note she slept from 9:30pm to 6am last night. yeah, sounds great but i woke up at 4am and couldn't get back to sleep right away even though harlie was sleeping (that's the time she would normally request my attention). then i woke up again at 5:30 leaking so i thought i better pump before i burst a milk gland. then she woke up at 6am requesting some breakfast and a diaper change.

phil, the super husband, let me sleep in until 8am so i must admit, i feel rested. however, i was planning to work out this morning and didn't get the energy to get out of bed in time.

good day

Since I vented and shared my rough day then I thought I should share the good ones too. Today Wendell and I had a pretty good day (Harlie too). He was patient and listened and even volunteered to pick up some toys without my asking him (that was a first for him). We went to the park then did some shopping at Hy-Vee and I let him ride in the little vehicle cart so he feels like he's driving. Then he ate his meals pretty good and took a good nap. He even let me watch Oprah and didn't get into too much trouble or complain too much. Then we went for a "walk" and he rode his tricycle for almost a mile. It took him almost an hour to do it but he rode the entire way taking a few breaks here and there to observe his surroundings (glad I took the stroller and not the baby holder!). On a side note, he also picked up a leaf on the way (he's a collector). He loves to pick up leaves along our walks and his tricycle has a little compartment in the back so he puts them in there. Then he ate his supper with out any major issues and is now spending time with his dad. I might even get to publish this post in one sitting.. usually I have to stop and then come back to it later. So anyways, we had a good day. I trust that I will survive having two kiddo's.. although there will be more rough days and more good days! (sorry no pictures this post.. maybe next time?)

rough day

So the other day I had started this great post about how life is going pretty good and we were doing quite well with two kids instead of just one and then ... well, yesterday wasn't such a great day. First off, we all work up early so none of us really felt rested, then after Phil left for work I decided I'd like to shower and I thought, how am I going to do this? I really can't leave Wendell alone with Harlie as I don't quite trust him and yet if I took her downstairs with me then I knew he'd follow and then get into things he's not suppose to. Well, choiceless, I took her down with me and as I predicted, Wendell went down too and there I was trying to shower and he was jumping on the digital scale and turning the humidifier on and off and who knows what else. So eventually I just told him to sit on the stairs until I was done (which amazingly he did). Then we went up stairs and things just didn't get better. I'd ask him to do something or not do something and if I didn't know any better I'd think his ears needed cleaned out. We were going to go to the park or at least outside but then we got a couple of phone calls that took some time. By the time we could have left it was almost lunch time and quite honestly I felt like he didn't deserve to go outside and have fun because of his behavior. Is that wrong? After I reflected on the day, I did realize later that we should have gotten out of the house. If anything, it would have been for me to have some moments of freedom (my attention not directed at his behavior) not a reward for him. So then we have nap time and thankfully he fell asleep. Since Harlie was also asleep I thought maybe I'd just take a nap and try and refresh myself. 20 minutes later, Harlie wakes up so now I'm even more tired as 20 minutes was about half long enough. I get her quited down and decided to just lay in bed awhile to have a break. So about the time she falls asleep, then Wendell wakes up from his nap. I tried to put on my happy face but he just continued to be a rascal. I then decide I give in, he can watch tv for awhile and I'll just keep my distance but after about 15 minutes of that he didn't want to watch tv, what?? not watch tv? This should have been my final clue that Wendell just wanted some attention but by then I'm not in my right mind. So, we call Phil to find out what time he's coming home and he informs me that it'll be another 2 hours, what? I thought he was getting off in an hour, not two! So, I broke down. I should have just let it all out but Wendell was there and whenever he sees me cry he gets "concerned" so I get it together. By then, I've decided that supper is going to be easy BLT's, not the fancy stuffed chicken and homemade mac-n-cheese that I've been wanting to make. Wendell and I go outside while Harlie sleeps and he plays while I sit and watch. I finally got a moment of peace for the day. My neighbor actually came out and chatted for a bit which was a nice distraction from the day we'd been having. Phil came home, I cooked supper, and then we went shopping. Although we got home late, it was worth the trip. I think Wendell and I both needed out of the house.

Wendell and I've had days like this before so I know we'll be fine. It seems odd that taking care of Harlie seems so easy.. it's the 2 year old that can drive me mad! When does this stage end? It's starting to feel like NEVER... I'm hoping it's easier with Harlie.. maybe her and Wendell will play together and keep each other company? Or am I looking at double trouble in 2 years?

Really, when all is said and done, I'm just disappointed in myself. Every once in awhile, it all builds ups, I get so angry and then every little thing just makes it worse. How can I let go of the anger and "reset" myself so that it doesn't just build and build? Hmm... any advice for me?

Well, thankfully, time doesn't stop and yesterday did end. Today has been a little better but I can tell I'm still frustrated with the little guy. At least the weekend is here so hopefully we'll be busy enough to stay out of trouble.

One last thought. Looking at today's date, I realize I have no right to complain, it could be worse - much, much worse.

last free weekend

This is our last free weekend without Wendell for awhile. I must admit though, I miss the little guy. He was gone a few days earlier this week and when he came back I had forgotten how much fun he can be. He's just a "silly monkey" and likes to make us smile. But my parents have him for the weekend so I have a few more days alone with Harlie (and Phil). I do have a few things I need to get done so I'm glad he's gone for now. So far, Phil and I went out for lunch, then did a little shopping and came back home (none of which were on my to do list). Harlie was a peach through it all except the last few minutes when she decided she was hungry.

There are a lot of things that I'd like to get done before Wendell comes back. One thing is that I have been trying to journal Harlie's "birth story" and there is so much to write that I just need to get it done before I forget. I also have a baby book that I really want to get a good start on so I don't forget those little details either. And we have some gifts/decorations that need to be hung, pictures need to be ordered/picked up/organized, and get the house cleaned up. I'm sure there are many other things that I'm not even thinking of.

Just as a general update, we are all doing pretty good. Harlie sleeps pretty good for the most part waking every 3-4 hours but then goes back to sleep after I feed her. Overall, she's a pretty happy baby and doesn't cry that much except if she's hungry. I still can't tell who I think she looks like so I'm just going to say Harlie for now. Eventually I'll find my photo album that has Phil, Wendell and my baby pictures so we can compare them. Wendell continues to do pretty good with her, although he hasn't really been around her but for a few days. Physically, I am feeling much better than I did a week ago and am on the mend. I also think I'm starting to adjust to lack of sleep but next week will be the true test when Phil goes back to work and Wendell is here; if Harlie continue to wake up at 6am. Part of me wants to get back into a routine which includes exercise, play dates, eating healthy/cooking, and more structured life in general and part of me laughs at the thought of this and says that I should just wait a month before attempting to get my life back to a new "normal".

On a side note, I'm happy to report that I am "meeting" my nursing goal of being able to breastfeed Harlie in front of other people especially men. I've had the challenge thrown at me 4 times and 3 of the 4 times I did nurse (covered) in front of a man and the 4th time I had pumped and Phil gave her a bottle (which I'm perfectly happy with as well). I have also nursed in front of a couple of female friends without the cover and this I did not even do when Wendell was a baby. I am not completely comfortable with nursing in front of people as I have not mastered the nursing covers/cape/shawls (I have 3) but so far I'm pleased with what I've accomplished. I can tell I'm becoming one of those "freedom" breastfeeding women as I want to be able to do normal things and not feel like I have to hide when I feed Harlie but at the same time, I don't want to just whip it all out and be totally exposed. I'm sure I will find a good balance that makes me and others comfortable.

This next week, we have some outings planned during the day so it'll be interesting to see how I do with a toddler and nursing infant. Harlie has her 2 week appointment, I'm hoping to get a play date in with my friend Sarah, and am hoping to also do some traveling to see parents and my mom. So, at some point next week, I'll have to give you an update of life with Phil at work and me being a lone mom of two.

Well, enough rambling for now... here are some fun pictures.