So the other day I had started this great post about how life is going pretty good and we were doing quite well with two kids instead of just one and then ... well, yesterday wasn't such a great day. First off, we all work up early so none of us really felt rested, then after Phil left for work I decided I'd like to shower and I thought, how am I going to do this? I really can't leave Wendell alone with Harlie as I don't quite trust him and yet if I took her downstairs with me then I knew he'd follow and then get into things he's not suppose to. Well, choiceless, I took her down with me and as I predicted, Wendell went down too and there I was trying to shower and he was jumping on the digital scale and turning the humidifier on and off and who knows what else. So eventually I just told him to sit on the stairs until I was done (which amazingly he did). Then we went up stairs and things just didn't get better. I'd ask him to do something or not do something and if I didn't know any better I'd think his ears needed cleaned out. We were going to go to the park or at least outside but then we got a couple of phone calls that took some time. By the time we could have left it was almost lunch time and quite honestly I felt like he didn't deserve to go outside and have fun because of his behavior. Is that wrong? After I reflected on the day, I did realize later that we should have gotten out of the house. If anything, it would have been for me to have some moments of freedom (my attention not directed at his behavior) not a reward for him. So then we have nap time and thankfully he fell asleep. Since Harlie was also asleep I thought maybe I'd just take a nap and try and refresh myself. 20 minutes later, Harlie wakes up so now I'm even more tired as 20 minutes was about half long enough. I get her quited down and decided to just lay in bed awhile to have a break. So about the time she falls asleep, then Wendell wakes up from his nap. I tried to put on my happy face but he just continued to be a rascal. I then decide I give in, he can watch tv for awhile and I'll just keep my distance but after about 15 minutes of that he didn't want to watch tv, what?? not watch tv? This should have been my final clue that Wendell just wanted some attention but by then I'm not in my right mind. So, we call Phil to find out what time he's coming home and he informs me that it'll be another 2 hours, what? I thought he was getting off in an hour, not two! So, I broke down. I should have just let it all out but Wendell was there and whenever he sees me cry he gets "concerned" so I get it together. By then, I've decided that supper is going to be easy BLT's, not the fancy stuffed chicken and homemade mac-n-cheese that I've been wanting to make. Wendell and I go outside while Harlie sleeps and he plays while I sit and watch. I finally got a moment of peace for the day. My neighbor actually came out and chatted for a bit which was a nice distraction from the day we'd been having. Phil came home, I cooked supper, and then we went shopping. Although we got home late, it was worth the trip. I think Wendell and I both needed out of the house.
Wendell and I've had days like this before so I know we'll be fine. It seems odd that taking care of Harlie seems so easy.. it's the 2 year old that can drive me mad! When does this stage end? It's starting to feel like NEVER... I'm hoping it's easier with Harlie.. maybe her and Wendell will play together and keep each other company? Or am I looking at double trouble in 2 years?
Really, when all is said and done, I'm just disappointed in myself. Every once in awhile, it all builds ups, I get so angry and then every little thing just makes it worse. How can I let go of the anger and "reset" myself so that it doesn't just build and build? Hmm... any advice for me?
Well, thankfully, time doesn't stop and yesterday did end. Today has been a little better but I can tell I'm still frustrated with the little guy. At least the weekend is here so hopefully we'll be busy enough to stay out of trouble.
One last thought. Looking at today's date, I realize I have no right to complain, it could be worse - much, much worse.
3 comments:
Hey, Heather... sounds like you are accomplishing quite a bit with those two little ones. I'm getting ready to enter that world also and am sure I'll have days much like that. I already do!! I think all moms do... you are so perfectly normal!!!
Oh, Heather. I totally have days like this, too. I feel like all I do is yell at Emily and all she does is try to make me mad. Then I get upset with myself for losing it and feel bad later. We all do it. Total exhaustion from sleep deprivation doesn't exactly help the situation either. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you!
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