a little better

I am managing it better.. I go to the chiropractor tomorrow. I hope that helps, a lot.  Phil has really stepped up making life easier.  I am on a strict no dishes policy.. I am not allowed to wash dishes. : )  Thanks Phil!  Either way, my spirits are up, that is what is most important.

not feeling well

We'll see, maybe I'll get a spark this week, but for the time being it might be awhile for blogging.  I just haven't been feeling well.. mostly back/hip pain but also fighting a head cold that won't go away.  I did finally go to the doctor to get an antibiotic but it doesn't help the pain in my hip/back and honestly I'm not sure how much it's helping my head cold.  I can hardly think straight half the time let alone get any thoughts out, read/ remember anything.  I can hardly walk and get anything done around the house for more than about ten minutes.  It has been a very rough week, heating pads and pain medications are not helping.. my last hope is the chiropractor.  Most everything online says there is nothing I can do but wait it out.  I thought I'd had pulled a muscle but now I am convinced it's 90% pregnancy related and there is nothing I can do about it.  The good news is I can sit on the couch pain free and I am sleeping just fine; it's mostly when I try and walk around to get anything done.

I'd take any prayers at this point as this takes a toll on Phil and the kids too.  Any advice would be good too.. anyone else have this problem with pregnancy?

why I blog

I just want to clarify that Phil was not talking about anyone I know in particular; it was more the ones he reads about athletes.  My question was more to help me figure out why I blog as I feel like my blog is an assortment of thoughts.  Sometimes I feel like I need a purpose but that purpose might be to just be me.  I have a lot of thoughts to get out and this is one way of doing it without yakking to my husband all night long and emailing lots of pictures/stories to my family.  I think often I judge how I'm blogging by the comments I get but I shouldn't do that.  I am doing this for myself and any family or friends who want to join me; and it's whatever I want to say/do.  So I will write what I want because this is my blog : ) but I do appreciate all of you and your comments!

I think we all go through moments of questioning why we do blogging, facebook, etc. And this has been an ongoing moment/thought for me.  I think I just need to remember that this blog is whatever I want it to be, even if it's an assortment of thoughts, pictures or stories.. as long as it's God honoring.

I just hope that someone, other than myself, is enjoying it or getting something out of it in the process.

why blog?

About 6 months ago Phil commented on some peoples blogs (no one in particular).. he said some were saying 'look at me, look at me'.  I asked him if my blog was like that and he said 'no' of course.  But I have been pondering this since he asked.  Why do I blog?  What is the purpose?  I know the pictures and stories are to share with close family and friends... as I'm not ready to post too many on facebook.  But why do I blog other stuff?   I don't know.  Is there really a point?  Does anyone care/listen? I don't know.  I guess it's my way of getting my thoughts out.  Maybe I'm a thinker looking for another thinker to help me ponder life.  Odd, yes.  But maybe that is why?

So I thought I'd throw out the question, why do you blog? (or post on facebook?)

the latest fun in our family

Winter is here!

So we had to go sledding... it's kind of hard for me to sled alone with the kids so I had Phil go with me the first time.  I will admit I did go down a few times.

this hat still cracks me up (he wore it all last year and now this year).. his pick, very warm, perfect for Iowa winters, one of the sillest looking hats I've ever seen (that is 'fur' that is so nice and fuzzy)

she LOVED sledding, I was a bit suprised

this is why I have a rule that daddy goes with us on the big hills!

she does love me : )

we did some cooking today, making bread

why is this sledding picture down here? I don't know. 

We went sledding off Fletcher Ave. and they have street lights so we can sled in the dark, after Phil gets off work, sweet.

Wendell really wants to play this game and just doesn't understand why he can't play yet.  So we usually come up with other ways to play.  Sometimes we put the letters in alphabetical order, this time we made the board match the box picture.  His idea : )

Harlie hiding during hide and seek.  She hid there 3-4 times in a row.  What a quackeroo!  **note: when I mention riding my bike trainer, this is what I do.  I love it during the winter!

I should print this off and post it on the fridge.  She's sleeping like an angel and there just so happens to be a little picture of an angel on the front of her shirt.

be calm

I just thought I'd share a game plan I have the next time I have a 'hot moment'.  I have found in the past few months that dealing with my work has been a challenge, then of course, the normal being a mom of young kids is a challenge, and with baby #3 on the way I fully expect these challenges or 'hot moments' to increase.

Anyways, I have I have a game plan for next time this happens.

I am going to create myself a 'be calm' (Be calm - a tool a lady at work uses, it's head phones with relaxing music that she is suppose to listen to, to help her 'be calm') using our IPOD.  I need to buy some headphones - the size of earmuffs to go with it.

I am going to put this Psalm (see below) on it (in bold), and me reading my own written Psalm (in italics); then some music. 

Maybe I can teach the kids that when mommy has these headphones on.. leave her alone : )

Maybe I can learn to 'be calm' during the chaos.

Maybe I'll add a little Alanis Morissette in.. as she helps me vent some anger.



Psalm 70:

Hasten, O God, to save me;                                                        
Hurry, God to save me;

O Lord, come quickly to help me. 
Oh Lord, come quickly to help me.

May those who seek my life                                                          
May my sinful self (anger/lack of control)

be put to shame and confusion; 
be put to shame and confusion;

may all who desire my ruin                                                           
may Satan and my sin

be turned back in disgrace.   
be turned back to disgrace.

May those who say to me, "Aha! Aha!"                                                        
May those thoughts, emotions, desires

turn back because of their shame. 
turn back because of their shame.

But may all who seek you                                                       
But may all who seek you

rejoice and be glad in you;  
rejoice and be glad in you;

may those who love your salvation always say,                                                      
may those who love your salvation always say,

"let God be exalted!"                                                     
"let God rule over all of us especially me, right now!"

Yet I am poor and needy;                                                     
Yet I am weak and needy

come quickly to me, O God.
come quickly to me, O God.

You are my help and my deliverer;                                                     
You are my helper, I surrender to you

O lord, do not delay.  
O Lord, do not delay.

Jesus CEO - Internal Anchors

What are your internal anchors?  (Where are you grounded?)
From whom do you seek approval?

One line from this chapter that really suck out was, the Omega leader has a backbone like a rod of steel when it comes to doing the right thing.

This comment makes me think about something that surfaces my thoughts on occasion.  I am not saying that I agree with this but sometimes I feel like God made us to be human, even if I wanted to stop sinning, it would still happen.  It's almost like I don't have a choice in the matter as it's bound to happen.  Now I don't run with that thought and sin on purpose but I do feel like sometimes it's not my fault, especially when I feel like I can't control it.  One thing that can be really tough for me is when I'm having a rough day with the kids and I start yelling, excessively or fiercely.  Usually I pick up on it and pray for God to help me as it's getting out of my control ( and before it's physically out of control).  Once I hit a certain point of anger then I can't stop that cycle.  I think when I pray about it I expect God to take over because I know can not handle it emotionally at the moment. 

To answer the questions... for the most part,  I think I am grounded in God but on occasions (like this) I don't really know what my anchor is because I don't feel God's protection/comfort.

I have a similar situation going on with my work where normally I am grounded in God but it seems my prayers are not helping/working.  I don't always expect God to just fix my problems but I do expect him to help me emotionally through them; and sometimes when I'm in a hot spot, then I feel at a loss with God. 

I am meeting with a mentor soon as my usual means of comfort are not working.  Do any of my christian friends have any suggestions for me? 

From whom do I seek approval? I think I seek general approval from everyone around me like most people.  Sometimes it is hard when society's approval does not match God's.  And sometimes what seems like society's approval is really not approval, it's just what makes life easy.   I know that it has taken years for me to not need approval from a certain family member of mine, and although I want their approval I need to keep myself protected which means keeping a distance/wall.  I also know at work when I get my evaluation I want it to go well.. as I seek their approval.  Often I don't think I feel God's approval but I don't feel his disapproval.. his approval is in my heart and if I'm okay then he's okay.  I seek that kind of guidance when it comes to approval.  I am not sure that is right/what God wants as I don't feel approval from God?  Does anyone else feel approval from God?

My 34th birthday!

A lot of people say your birthday is just another year.. but this year I decided no.. this is one day I get to celebrate me, what I want, and what would make me happy.  So for a few weeks I thought about what would really make ME happy. 

Here was my list:

1. Scratch cupcakes (we sampled 5 different cakes - I think vanilla was my favorite)

2. a  walking critter balloon from HyVee (see Melvin below)

yep, for me, not the kids

3. presents of course!

I got walkie talkies, a puzzle, and fun socks.

4. 'dates' with friends

I was going to do a group thing but decided just to just pick a couple of friends to meet with 1:1 (no kids!)

5. out to eat at Pizza Ranch with my family

next time we are going to Subcity (maybe another date with a friend : ) 

** then a few other random fun pictures from this year

Phil played trombone in high school and college (1 yr)

Wendell saw the case in the basement and couldn't resist.

Harlie also took a shot at it.

I'm not kidding, trains are taking over our house.

I finally got Phil's blessing to cut some bangs. 
Isn't she adorable?

Christmas 2011



 Our Christmas morning

This was so cute... them watching the pizza cook.

We tried a new snack and the kids liked it! Celery with peanut butter.  I couldn't believe they ate it!  I think it helped that they were cut in little pieces for them.

All Wendell and I could do was laugh, this is Harlie's attempt at putting her pull up on by herself.  Apparently she thought this was acceptable.

New tracks and train goodies for Christmas.  I think this train track is taking over my house!

Wendell's 5th birthday

Presents at home, Grandpa and Grandma came to visit for the afternoon.

Party at school, Wendell requested a pinata.

At the mall with friend, one of Wendell's favorite places to go.



Playing with the neighbor girl at the park across the street.

Sadly we had to cancel his actual birthday party with family as he was sick the night before, but he was still able to go to his school program and he was much better on his actual birthday. 

breakfast challenge

In my daily health challenge I was challenged to share a healthy breakfast idea.  It just happens that this weekend Phil and I tried something different and we took a moment to reflect on the evolution of this breakfast food.   I grew up eating normal pancakes out of the box for breakfast, Phil grew up eating hotcakes which are homemade pancakes made with oatmeal and buttermilk.  So out with the old normal pancake and in with the new healthy hotcake. We eat hotcakes with buttermilk, whole grain oats, whole wheat flour, honey, flax seed and the new added ingredient was pumpkin out of the can.  It changed the texture (much softer) and color (a little more orange) but we couldn't even taste the pumpkin.  Either way, it tasted just fine and pumpkin is very good for you so what a great way to get some veggie in the morning!

So, what do you eat for a healthy breakfast?

Next we might make regular oatmeal (which we eat often as well) with pumpkin in it.  Great idea from a friend of mine.