This chapter talked about Jesus being tested in the wilderness and when he came out he knew more about his gifts and about what he was suppose to do. One question they have is: what wilderness experience has helped you see your gifts more clearly?
I will admit I don't see any clear answers for myself.
In fact the chapter made me think more about what are my gifts? am I using them? Well, I know my gifts and I've taken a lot of those tests to show that I'm task oriented, relational (on a deeper level), and a deep thinker/analytical. I know my target person to help is the needy/under resourced/ down on their luck kind of person. But sadly, I am not using any of my gifts (unless you consider my work). I have tried many different volunteer opportunities and none have lasted long term as they have never seemed a good fit. I think part of it is that I like helping people but I've found most people want to do it their own way.. and don't want my advice. I am a problem solver and like finding solutions.. and again, most people don't like to hear my rants.
On another note, now that I am a mom of young kids I feel like my gifts are (my life is) on hold or much more limited as I don't get to use them or do what I've always thought was my "mission". Some people seem to just know their gifts and how to use them, and they seem so happy... I feel like I am not that person (when it comes to using my gifts).
One way I've tried is that the kids and I have been visiting an older lady in the nursing home for about 9 months now. And although it's okay.. it's not great. I don't think the lady really cares to see us, she's friendly enough just not real excited or thankful when she sees us. I do think others there enjoy our visits but I personally, don't get much out of it, other than knowing I'm a little light in their day. But I can already feel the itch to quit and try something else.
I was at church today and saw a paper posted to adopt a college student. Maybe I should try that?
Maybe being a mom of young kids or simly not finding a good match is my wilderness.. and I need to think about that more.. and maybe I need to think about how maybe my mission field has changed in the past 5 years since I have changed. I feel like since I have the kids that I don't really have time or engry to use my gifts or to think about a mission... unless you count the kids themselves. So if my kids are my mission field then that's a whole other string of thoughts.
I think I'm getting lost. What was the question?
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