Jesus CEO

The topic I read about the other day was about how we think about ourselves.  The author says that Jesus always said positive thing about himself, as do other successful people.  So the question is what do you say about yourself (self talk)?  So it had me pondering... and two thoughts came to mind. 

1. About 6 months ago we had a training at work, the speaker said that most women wear make up (his point was that women with disabilities should be the same or at least given the opportunity) and that women who don't, either think they look fine without it or just don't care/aren't motivated.  So as one of the few women who rarely wears make up I have wondered why that is?? I still haven't figured it out.   This thought brings me to...

2. When I think about my thoughts about myself, or how I look (above) I really don't think I have thoughts unless something major is going on.  Ex.  I wear make up when I get pictures taken, go to a wedding, or a big family get together.  But I also don't do "self talk" unless something major is going on - really bad day with the kids, something happens at work, I run a good race/bad race.

So in general, I don't have much self talk. 

As I write this it reminds me of a friend that commented once in college about my  high self esteem. I laughed at the time but I think my indifference gave her the opinion that I had high self esteem.

I'm not sure.. if I don't have low self esteem, then is it high?  I think I'm just neutral. 

Which brings me to another question they ask.. who do you say you are on a daily basis?  And out of frustration of getting this question a lot in life.  My answer was Heather Rene` (McCulley) Hunt.  Can't I just be me?  Do I have to say I'm a mom? a wife? a daughter? a co-worker? etc.  When I list of those things I feel the pressure to be someone.. but I just want to be me.

So the last question is.. what good, pure, true, beautiful words do you feed yourself everyday?  My answer.. I have none, so sad.  And that probably needs to change.  We often hear about mission statements but maybe I need to have a positive statement or letter that I write to myself.  And it could have specific examples of how I do each thing.  So that will be my homework.. and if I feel comfortable I'll share it. 

One last thought.  I have a very hard time when I am wrong or if I do something wrong.  I feel like I am often right.. and I have a very hard time seeing someone elses point of view.  I'm terrible at sympathy for anyone other than my children.  I don't like work evaluation because they ALWAYS have ways to improve and I hate being told I'm wrong.  Which is why I hate confession time when I pray, which is why I don't do it often.  I think I don't like to look within because I focus on the negative and I'm hate feeling incomplete/inadequate.  So I simply don't do it.  So in turn, I live life in a world of Heather Rene` (McCulley) Hunt.. and I don't see others world from their perspective.  Maybe if I had some good talk.. I could listen more to the bad talk. 

(Man, chapter 2 and I'm already in some really deep thoughts, this might be an occasional read.. I'm exhausted just thinking about it all.  I might have to find someone to process this with, and I might have to buy the book instead of borrowing it.)